Wednesday, May 18, 2011

16 & Pregnant: Cleondra and Mario

Note: I write these recaps after the show on Tuesday night and then re-read them the next morning and make some final tweaks and all that.  This one is boring as hell. Is it just me or are these girls getting more and more boring as each season goes by?  *Yawn*

So no dumb prom movies coming on and that means 16 & Pregnant is back on at it's regular time.  Yay!  Except . . . last week, when they decided to run that dumb prom movie?  Yeah, I finally caught an episode of The Voice.  And I kinda love it.  And it's on at the same time as 16 & P.  I'm so glad we live in the age of DVR.

Now, let's get won with the teen pregnancy!

This week we meet Cleondra -- in order to save my wrists from carpel tunnel syndrome, we're going to refer to her as Cleo from here on out.  (Seriously, though, Cleondra?  Couldn't they have at least spelled it Cleandra?)  Cleo is a Memphis girl.  She actually lives right across the river in Horn Lake, Mississippi.

And, right off the bat, I don't like her.  I'm just sayin'.  It's partly her attitude and partly because these people are the epitome of Memphis area Ghetto Fabulous.

This is 16 & Pregnant so, of course, Cleo had all kinds of hopes and dreams that were dashed the instant she peed on the stick.  She wanted to go to college and study physical therapy.  She was also the member of a dance team that progressed to nationals and could have landed her a scholarship.

She lives with - if I have all the people right - her mom, mom's boyfriend, brother, sister, and sister's two-year-old daughter, whom she has helped raise.  That's right -- her sister was also a teen mom.  She had a baby at 17 and both Cleo and her mom have raised the little girl moreso than the chick who birthed her.

She met boyfriend Mario when he moved in right across the street from her.  They've been together for two years which feels sort of new for 16 & Pregnant.  It's usually more of "Hi, you're cute, I like your shoes, wanna do it?"  Refreshing almost.  Well, as refreshing as can be when it's a 16-year-old and a 19-year-old having a baby.

Mario is worried about the birth of the baby, but Cleo isn't.  She feels like she's already been through it with her neice.  Ha.  Hahahahaha.  *Holds side from laughter*  Seriously, ya'll.  I find it hard to believe that, at 14, this girl was getting up in the middle of the night with her newborn neice.  It doesn't matter how many kids you "help raise" you never know what it's really like until you have one of your own. 

Cleo's mom was angry when she found out about the pregnancy.  Once again, we have a girl who was schooled in sex education and even provided condoms.  Yet she still managed to get pregnant.  We don't have the MTV-scripted "the condom broke" scene this week so we don't know HOW Cleo got knocked up.  Well, we do know how but, well, never mind.

We do get the MTV-scripted "what do the friends think" scene.  Apparently, Alexis is the name for this episode since roughly 18 of her friends are named that.  I really get nothing from their conversation other than one of the girls asks her, "So do you wonder if people will think you're, like, a ho?"

It's time to talk about who is going to live where after the baby is born.  Mario feels there are too many people in Cleo's house and he doesn't want to sleep over there.  He wants Cleo and the baby to move into his house, says it's the easiest situation in every way.  Cleo isn't thrilled with the idea.  She is nervous to leave home.

It's time to celebrate their two year anniversary and, rather than going out, Mario cooks dinner at his house.  Note to Cleo: He celebrates your anniversary by making a meal for you?  Hold onto this one!

We get to meet Mario's mom and, once again, we have a soon-to-be-granny who looks to be fairly close to my age.  Also, I'd like to have about three of whatever it is she's on because, damn, homegirl is pretty happy.  She's ademant about not being called "Grandma" or "Mimi" or "Granny" or anything else that will make her feel ninety.  Cleo kinds of has attitude about it and I don't really get it.  Can we not let Ya-Ya or Gigi or whatever it is she wants to be pick her own name?

Speaking of picking names . . . Mario's mom and sister start discussing names.  And,  you know what, is that not one of the most annoying things while you're pregnant?  It's YOUR baby.  ONE thing you get control over and everybody and their grandmama feels like they have to put in their two cents.  And, woah, Mario's sister seems to have some wicked attitude.  Tone it down, baby girl.  Sheesh.

Cleo and Mario have a baby name talk of their own.  Mario doesn't care about the baby's name and this upsets Cleo.  I understand that she wants to have an opinion but this chick doesn't realize how lucky she is.  Did you know that Kyan was the absolute ONLY baby boy name that Eddie and I could agree on?  #realtalk.

It's Baby Shower Day!  Everything is "sooooo cute."  This is what happens when you have a baby shower full of 17-year-old girls.   

We also get a random - probably staged - scene of Mario talking to a friend at work.  He explains that he wants the Cleo and the baby to stay at his house because he wants the baby to have her own space (understandable).  He goes on to say that he can't talk to Cleo about any of this because she's whiney and hormonal (you know: pregnant).

Cleo goes into labor the day after her baby shower.  Her mom is too squeamish to stay in the delivery room.  Wait . . . what?  No, really.  WHAT?  It's mentioned earlier in the episode that she has four kids of her own.  She has a granddaughter already.  AND SHE IS TOO SQUEAMISH TO BE IN THE ROOM WHEN HER DAUGHTER GIVES BIRTH?  Shut the front door and get out of here.

Mario is in the delivery room, of course, as are two of Cleo's friends.  17-year-old girls.  Yeah.  Not her mom but a couple of high school chicks getting up close and personal with some Biology 101.

Six hours into labor, baby Kylee is born.  There are tears all around.  There always are.  Thousands of babies are born every single day but we still bawl like a baby when it happens.

Cleo whines says that she hardly got any sleep in the hospital so she's looking forward to Mario helping her out their first night home.  Exxxxxcept . . . Mario says he's not spending the night.  And he doesn't.  Her family steps up to help out during the first week and Cleo says she hasn't heard much from Mario other than to bug her about moving into his house.

WTF is up with these guys doing that this season?  Last season was all "oh, let's hurry and get married" and this season is all "move into MY house."  I can sort of understand where Mario is coming from and I think he made valid points (there were A LOT of people living in Cleo's house and her neice didn't even really have a space of her own).  But, come on, dudes.  When a woman gives birth she wants to go back to HER house.  And when she's a teenage girl, she's going to want her own mom around to help out.

Mario has a talk with his mom.  He says he's not comfortable with the baby being around Cleo's brother or sister.  He doesn't want either of them to watch her or really even be around her.  I'm not sure what the animosity is or what this is all based on.  But, I'm going to say . . . I really don't blame him.  Remember what I said previously about Ghetto Fabulous Memphis Area folks?  Yeah.

Cleo only planned to take off the two weeks of school before winter break.  But she still has to take midterms if she wants to graduate.  Mario is at work.  Cleo needs someone to keep the baby.  You read the previous paragraph.  You know where this is going.  She asks her brother and sister to watch Kylee.  Mario isn't happy when he finds out and says she could've called his mom or sister.

Now, for the most part I liked Mario better than Cleo in this episode.  Her attitude was just stank and I wasn't feeling her.  But then . . . *sigh* . . . damn you, Mario.  Cleo calls to ask him to come over and help.  He told her he didn't want to do anything.  And that he just wanted to spend the night at his house and go to bed. WTF, AYFKM, and STFU.  I mean, really?  REALLY, MARIO?  REALLY? 

He, of course, wants her and the baby to come over to his place to stay the night.  So Cleo decides to call his bluff.  She wants to go over there and stay the night so he can see how hard it is.  She asks her mom's permission (seriously?) and heads over to prove her point.

Except . . . Mario is a man and, therefore, immune to the sound of a crying baby.  Cleo does everything she normally does every other night  While Mario sleeps.  Fail.

It's timie for Cleo to go back to school.  There's a complicated and crazy babysitting plan.  The baby is staying with someone different every day of the week.  I guess you do whatcha gotta do. 

Cleo and Mario hardly have any time together. They go on a "family date" - taking the baby with them.  The date ends in a fight and Cleo goes home upset.  She talks to her mom and tells her she feels like Mario doesn't care about her anymore.  Her mom explains that babies really do change everything and it's time for a serious adult talk between Cleo and Mario.

Mario and his mom come over to talk to Cleo and her mom.  I mean, since we're being adults and all.  Gotta have the moms involved.  Also CLEO SITS THERE ON HER PHONE.  Adults.  Yep.

Mario's mom jumps to Cleo's defense over not wanting the baby to spend the night anywhere other than her house.  And, in the end, Mario agrees to stay at Cleo's house a couple nights a week to help.  They hug it out and everything is rainbow-farting unicorns.

In the final wrap up, Cleo tells us that Mario is wonderful and everything she could ask for.  Which is surprising as h-e-double-hockey-sticks given the bitching and moaning she did about him through most of the episode.  It's a toss-up as to whether or not they'll still be together by the time Dr. Drew airs.  We'll see, I suppose.

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