Wednesday, November 26, 2014


I'm a "moments" person.

I would rather have experienced than things. I would rather travel than possess a fancy wardrobe. I would rather make memories than own expensive purses.

(Seriously, though, if you want to buy me either a Keurig or a FitBit, I'll turn neither down...)

Really, though. Moments. Big moments, little moments. 

Beach vacations. 
Watching my four-year-old play in front of the Christmas tree. 
Belly laughs with good friends. 
Hugs from boys who aren't as little as they once were but are still my little boys. 
Road trips. 
Eating pizza in front of a movie on Friday nights. 
Cheering on the Razorbacks with my boys. 
Family dinners. 
Picnics in the park. 
Soccer games in my front yard. 
Chasing fireflies. 
Watching fireworks on the Fourth of July. 
Coming inside for hot chocolate after playing in the snow. 
Backyard barbecues. 
Singing together in the car. 
Putting together a puzzle or playing a board game. 

Those are moments I cherish and the reason I'm so thankful for this:

As many great things that have happened, as many best days, wonderful moments, fun memories ... there are more to come. And that's something definitely worth being thankful for. Because this is a pretty good life. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

The Halls. They're Decked.

Everything is better in front of a Christmas tree. Especially a 30-0 Hogs route of Ole Miss! Woo Pig! Hog Ball is baaaaaack!
I decorated for Christmas over the weekend. 

Yeah. I'm offish one of THOSE people. 

For the record -- I've never decorated before Thanksgiving. Ever. But. I won't have the kids for most of next weekend and we're (pretty sure we're) heading to Arkansas-then-Texas-then-Arizona beginning Christmas Day. And I wanted to enjoy the decorations for a while. So I went ahead and put everything up a little early. 

If you ever start feeling "I am woman, hear me roar" and like you don't need no man, girlfrannnn! then just attempt to put up an artificial Christmas tree by yourself. 

Actually assembling the tree wasn't that bad but then I got it up and some of the lights weren't working, it was leaning, and there were a couple of wonky branches. Don't need a man ... 'cept when I do. 

The kids did most of the tree trimming. It went like this:

"He moved my ornament!"
"I put the red one right there and YOU MOVED IT! No fair!"
"Karis is putting them too close together!"

Um. I needed to drink. Heavily. 

We got the tree trimmed and the halls decked, though, even amidst all the in-fighting. I'm far from an interior decorator or Pinterest mom of any variety but here's a little look:

I didn't move a single ornament around: I put the bow on top, but everything else about the tree was completely done by the kids. 

I put a little hot chocolate bar/ sweets station in the kitchen. Good idea in theory. In practice, though, the children will not stay out of the marshmallows!

This goes back to my childhood and was the thing the boys were most excited about pulling out and hanging up. They're ready for December 2nd to roll around so they can start fighting over who moves the mouse.

Ahhhh. I just love this time of year so much!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Anacaonda Needs to Die in a Fire. And Take "I'M TELLING!" with it.

The other day I actually made the following statement: "I would rather you say the word shit or constantly sing Anaconda than to EVER hear the words "I'm telling!" come out of your mouth."

Welcome to parenting elementary aged kids!

The list of words and phrases I've had to ban from the mouths of my children really does amaze me. 

This is currently hanging in my kitchen:

And I'm like "when did I become the mom of kids who say buttface?!?" I mean, really. How did those precious babies transform into occasionally smelly children who call each other things like "buttnugget?" (Seriously, actual insult that I believe first came out of the mouth of my beautiful daughter.) School and being around other kids has opened up the vocabularies of my children and that's not always a good thing. It's mostly a downright annoying thing ("I'm telling!" is the best example) but also -- who wants the "shut up, Stupid!" kid in their house? NOT ME. 

I've also introduced the "consequences bucket." Not pictured because it's ugly. But it's a little bucket full o' punishments. They pull one out if they get busted using one of the forbidden words/ phrases. The punishments are chores, losing privileges, time outs, writing sentences, even writing letters to family members. 

Let's see if it actually works. 

Cause if I have to hear "My anaconda don't ... My anaconda don't ..." one.more.time ...

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Thursday Things

1) It snowed AGAIN Sunday night/ Monday morning.

I know that's not much but . . . NOVEMBER. 

2) The Memphis Grizzlies are kinda on fire right now. Best record in the NBA, best start they've ever had. The other night someone tweeted Justin Timberlake accusing him of being a bandwagon fan. Ummm. JT is an owner. And a Memphis boy. And I love him.


Must get one of these now:

3) I won't have my children for most of Thanksgiving weekend (though they will be with me for half of turkey day.) I've been asked if this bothers me -- not having them for a majority of the holiday. Um, no. If it was Christmas then that would be a different story. But, as it is, can't wait!

4) Speaking of Thanksgiving,my daughter's list of what she's thankful for (in order of how she told me):
Katy Perry

HELLO?  Katy Perry BEFORE me?

5) Said precious daughter is a huge fan of Shake it Off (don't tell Katy Perry!) so I downloaded the entire 1989 album. I HATED THE WHOLE DAMN THING. Does that make me old? I mean, I'm not a Taylor hater and even claim to like several of her songs. But that album game me The Rage. 

6) 90% sure I'm putting up my Christmas decorations this weekend. I KNOW. I'm one of THOSE. But the kids won't be here the following weekend and we're (probably) leaving on Christmas Day until after the new year. So I want to be able to enjoy the decor just a little bit. 

7) Arkansas needs to win one more game for bowl eligibility. I'd just like to point out that I stared weeks ago that they would beat Ole Miss. They play then this week. Let's hope they're not on an LSU-win high and go in and take care of business (and maybe make it to the Texas Bowl to play Texas, ohpleaseohpleaseohplease.)

8) I found cranbrrritas -- tall boys and 12-packs -- in Memphis a couple weeks ago but now they are NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. What's going on? 

9) I let my boys watch Dumb and Dumber the other night. They loved it and the other morning they had the following conversation:

K: "I hate my hair! I look like Justin Beiber!" (Side note: wtf? No.)
J: "No you don't! You look like Harry!"

I mean, that resemblance. Uncanny. 

10) Yup. 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Halfway Point

Today is my cousin Paul's birthday. He and I are exactly, to the day, a year and a half apart in age. When we were younger, we thought this was really cool. Now the only thing cool about it is the fact that he's older than me.

Because, you see, when November 19th rolls around I'm reminded that it's exactly six months until my birthday. And this year that means I'm on the downhill slide to 35. 



Six months from today I'll be celebrating my 35th birthday. 


Please don't get me wrong -- for the most part, I love being in my 30's. I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I'm more confident in the person I am. I'm cool with being me -- a trait I can't claim to have possessed ten years ago. So being in my 30's is cool and all. Except. 


I have wrinkles and the occasional gray hair. The guys - men (!!!) - I date have lines around their eyes, sometimes receding hairlines. I mean, I have, like, kids and stuff! Little people who depend on me. That's some grown folks shit!

And I still just can't believe it's me on the brink of thirty-effing-five. 

Wine and cupcakes for dinner tonight!

Monday, November 17, 2014

In the South, it's a Religion

Kim Kardashian's greasy donut looking ass did not break the Internet last week. But Arkansas Razorback fans very well could've broken social media Saturday night. The Hogs secured their first SEC win under Bret Bielema (in seventeen games, since October of 2012) and did so by shutting out LSU.

Not only was it a big deal because FINALLY! A WIN! Not only was it a big deal because of so many near wins and shoulda couldas this season. It was a big deal because ... it was LSU! A rivalry game! The Battle of the Boot!

My Facebook feed BLEW UP with excited Hog fans. Lots of #wps, #neveryield, #bringbacktheboot, and fun memes. 

(I have no idea who this guy is but he wins Twitter)

It was a DAMN GOOD WEEKEND to be a Razorback. 

I have friends all over the country and, to so many of them, it's amazing how worked up we in the south get over college football. And we do. It really IS a religion around these parts. Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama ... none of those states have an NFL team. If you grew up in Arkansas, your NFL team was probably the Cowboys but you pledged your true allegiance to college football and, by virtue of being born in God's country, the Razorbacks. Plus, let's be real, college ball happens before money has entered the picture (let's not talk Reggie Bush ... Cam Newton ... ) and the boys play with more heart and passion. And it's just really amazing to watch. 

It's Monday morning now and still feels good to be a Razorback!

Friday, November 14, 2014

We All Gon' DIE!

It snowed in the mid-south yesterday morning. When I say "it snowed" this is what I'm talking about:

The entire tri-state area freaked the f-word out. 

My Facebook feed was full of "OMGSNOW!!!1!" pics. I still haven't decided if those posts are more or less annoying than the Chicago and Michigan transplants making fun of the native southerners. 

My own kid actually asked if he had to go to school. "But it SNOWED! There's no school when it snows!"

Both bridges into Arkansas shut down. Seriously. There were wrecks all over the place. 

The local news even had continuous coverage. Continuous coverage.

I mean ... 

I'm almost firmly in the camp of all the poke-fun-of-the-southerners yankee transplants.

Also, it's only November. This winter is gonna suuuuck

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