Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Happy. And Not the Pharrell Song.

(Warning: Sappy post that was written with the aid of my friend Riesling.  I'm just sayin'.)
 

There are so many cutesy Pinterest-y quotes out there about going through hard times, life throwing you a curve ball or giving you lemons, things just not going as planned. There are so many of these because ... duh ... that's real life. It's messy and doesn't always (like, pretty much never) work out the way you planned or envisioned. 

My favorite of all these quotes is this one:

Real talk, am I right?

I'm not at "the end" of my hard time, this changing point in my life. But you know what? It's okay. I'm at that point: things are okay. Maybe even better than okay. And, most importantly, I'm happy. 

One year ago, I probably had a different vision of where I would be in life right now. I'm not there yet. For starters, I drug my feet on going back to school the fall semester and missed the cut-off. Maybe next semester I can major in procrastination. I'd totally ace those classes ...  That's just one example of not being exactly where I thought I would be. But -- every day I'm taking steps to get there. Maybe they are baby steps but they're in the right direction. And even if I'm not where I thought I'd be a year ago, I am inifinitely more proud of myself than I ever imagined I could be.

I'm happy. 
My children are happy. 
What more could I ask for? (I mean, besides a million dollars, firm thighs, and an SEC win for the Razorbacks?)



Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Back on Track: Balance


The other day, I pulled on a pair of jeans. They'd just been washed which, of course, meant they would fit tighter than after a couple wears. I put them on, zipped and buttoned, and realized ... they fit just right. Even after a week of hardly working out and not tracking my food. My jeans fit. Perfectly. Even directly after being laundered. 

And that's the moment when I decided to stop chasing a number on the scale. I needed to lose weight at the end of the summer in order for my fall clothes to fit. I did lose that weight and now my clothes do fit. I feel great. So why keep chasing a number on the scale? That number doesn't matter, not in the least. 

With that said, I'm no longer actively trying to lose weight. I'm not tracking my food though I am still keeping my eating in check (i.e. not eating ALL THE THINGS.) I work out but don't kill myself to get to the gym in the evenings. The weather is gorgeous right now -- too gorgeous to work out indoors when I can be out walking or, more likely, stopping every few feet to collect acorns with a certain four-year-old. 

I've also decided I'm going to try very hard to kick my "scale habit." I've been a habitual weigher for a long time and often let my moods feed off that number. There's no sense. I stepped on the scale last Wednesday and I plan on that being the last time for at least a month. I put my scale in the closet so I won't be tempted to weigh myself.  I'm hoping I can keep to it.  And I'm also hoping this isn't just rationalizing to myself a way to eat like an asshole and skip the gym . . .

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Thursday Things

1) Last Friday, Jaidan turned eight. Eight! He had lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings. We went to see Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day (loved it!), and came home for cake, presents, and playing with friends.

Saturday evening his dad took him to do this:

I'd say he had a pretty good birthday weekend! I still can't believe the boy is EIGHT!

2) Arkansas lost Saturday. Something not all that unexpected but still a bummer. Especially since they pretty much beat themselves. We still have a year or two until the program is back (thanks, Bobby!) but we're getting there. Regardless, it's a pretty good time to be an SEC fan. Mississippi State is ranked #1 for the first time in school history and,with the exception of Ole Miss, I think most SEC fans are all "hail State!" I mean, until their school plays them obvs. And speaking of Ole Miss -- they're ranked third which is something I hear about eighty bajillion times a day since I live an hour from Oxford. And I'm calling it now: Arkansas upsets Ole Miss this season. You heard it here first, folks. 

3) Does Chipotle count as fast food? Because if it does, then I broke my 1.5 month streak of no fast food the other day. I NEEDED a burrito bowl. Besides, it's definitely better than something like McDonald's or Burger King, riiiight?  That's what I keep telling myself.

4) I had to go to the mall to go to Chipotle. Aaaaand ended up buying these:



Seriously.  A month and a half of no fast food?  That definitely paid for those boots!  And I NEEDED some low brown boots even more than I needed that Chipotle burrito bowl.

5) So I went to see Gone Girl a couple weeks ago. 

First things first: the book is always better. 

Now that that's out of the way -- I enjoyed the movie but ... I don't even know. The thing is, the movie follows the book really closely so I wasn't surprised by the twists. And I'm still not sure how I feel about how Amy was portrayed in the beginning of the movie.  I thought it was funny, though, listening to the people around me who had never read the book. 

6) Get this. Totally got carded to see that movie! Ya'll. I'm THIRTY FOUR AND GOT CARDED TO SEE AN R-RATED MOVIE. That was maybe the best day of my whole entire life. 

7) Boys got report cards this week. Straight A's and excellent behavior all around.  So proud of those guys!

8) I know that everyone has heard about Brittany Maynard, the young woman with brain cancer who has chosen to end her life on November 1st.  I understand that this is a total controversial issue and there are going to be all kinds of opinions.  But some of the things people say just hurt my heart.  I've seen people say she's selfish for wanting to avoid further pain.  And I just . . . I can't EVEN!  Who wants to suffer?  And, a step beyond that, who wants their family to have to suffer along with their suffering?  I feel like, in a lot of ways, she's being incredibly compassionate to those left behind.  Can you imagine being the mother of a brain cancer patient, watching your daughter waste away in pain and agony? 

9) One of the things I love so much about October is all the sports, sports, sports everywhere.  Football. Preaseason basketball.  Aaaaaaand - playoff baseball!  I love it!  Even though the teams in the ALCS this year just don't feel right.  (But, hey, go Royals!)

10) I laughed so hard at this:



Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Back on Track: Week "Awww, Screw It!"

I am 34-years-old and, much like your toddler, I thrive on organization and a schedule. And, frankly, spontaneity freaks me out. Having a wrench thrown in my schedule completely throws me off track.

Enter my boys being in Fall Break last week. It threw our schedule off and I didn't make it to the gym one.single.day. 

I also didn't track my food at all. 

Sigh. 
 
I could've done a lot worse with my eating, believe me, because other than eating Rendezvous and splitting a pitcher of Ghost River, I really didn't do that bad. I'm still not stepping on the scale until Friday. Maybe not even then. 

Here's the thing: I'm not angry with myself for falling off track. My initial goal was to lose ten pounds by J's birthday and I hit that plus an additional pound or so. Did I want to lose a little more? Yeah, totally. But enjoying Fall Break was more important to me. Skipping the gym and going to the movies in the evening just because we could ... that meant more to the kids than the number I would see on the scale. It's about balance and as long as I get back on track and don't fall into the same habits I did over the summer, then I'm going to be just fine.

Now.  Back to the gym . . .

Friday, October 10, 2014

Eight



Take your time . . . Don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass. 
Be a simple kind of man. 
Be something you love and understand. 

The other day, my neighbors' mail was accidentally delivered to my house. Included along with it were three or four college brochures addressed to their oldest son. When I first moved to this neighborhood, that boy was gangly and awkward: the very picture of "middle school." He would play soccer in the front yard with his younger brother and my boys. Now he's a senior in high school, apparently exploring college options, screeching out of his driveway in his parents' SUV with the radio firmly at "teenager" level. Time. It goes by so fast.

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try. 
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied. 

I don't know what it's like to have a teenage boy in the house. But I do know how quickly time passes. I know what it's like to wake up and suddenly realize that you have an eight-year-old. Even though you laid down last night with a brand new baby sleeping soundly on your chest. I know this because ... this morning I woke up to an eight-year-old. Perhaps the greatest cliches in parenting have to do with time and how fast it flies by. Those cliches though ... every single last one of them ... they are true. Eight years ago, I held a 7-pound, 14-ounce bundle of "how the HELL did I make this?" Eight years from now we'll be going to get his drivers license. He'll be going on dates. He'll be ... he'll be almost a man. All that in as short of a time as he's already been on Earth.


Boy, don't you worry.
You'll find yourself. 
Follow your heart,
And nothing else. 

These days we're in the thick of superheroes and ninja turtles but I can already see the changing of the tide ... sports are becoming more of an obsession and toys are babyish. Impressing friends and older neighbor kids has taken on a new importance. Certain clothes are "tacky" (i.e. pretty much everything his younger brother wears!)  Shoes! Oh, shoes are way more important than I ever thought they could be. 

My boy is growing up. 

Today he is eight. Tomorrow? I don't even want to think about how fast 18 ... and 28 ... and 38 and beyond will descend upon us. Right now I'm ready to just be hokey and "that mom"-ish and soak up his eight-year-oldness. 

Baby, be a simple, be a simple man 
Oh, be something you love and understand 
Baby, be a simple kind of man

Happy Birthday Jaybird! Love ya, mean it, don't care if it's too uncool for your friends to know it!


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Back on Track: Week Seven

Every female knows there's one week out of every month when the scale is not going to be your friend. I hate the word "bloated," but it happens. 

I was only down 2/10 of a pound last week. I know it had nothing to do with my diet or exercise and everything to do with being bloated. And now I've used that word twice in one post. Gah-ross. 

So now I'm 1.8 pounds from where I want to be and don't see why I won't reach it this week. Though - not going to lie - I'm feeling percuiliary unmotivated for someone so close to the finish line. But I did decent with my eating over the weekend, with Oktoberfest being the only time I really indulged at all. I'm not sure why this lack of motivation. Perhaps it's because my clothes fit. Maybe it has to do with being back in my happy weight range. 

Oh -- still fast food free! Over a month now. Can I make it to two? We'll see!

Monday, October 6, 2014

It's the OKTOBERFEST Time of Year

Saturday morning I received a text from a friend. He had an extra ticket to Oktoberfest at High Cotton Brewing Company and did I want to go? He also threw out phrases like "free t-shirt and beer stein" and "all you can eat and drink." Wait, what? All you can eat? I AM SO THERE, BRO. Don't even have to ask twice.


So we headed downtown where a section of Monroe was roped off. He'd purchased VIP tickets which meant various goodies for us and, of course, that whole unlimited beer and food. They had several varieties of beer on tap and I tried the seasonal, czar (totally by accident and, ugh, I need a barfing emoji because NOT GOOD), and Pilsner. The seasonal was, hands down, the best. Good stuff, my friends. 


The food was also pretty damn good. Brats and slaw. German potato salad. Mmmm. Good stuff. We also "snacked" on smoked ham and soft cheeses later in the afternoon. Y'all. That cheese! I'm going to have dreams about it. I could write love sonnets to it.  Need I go on?


They had these chicks ^^ doing stuff with fire.  A man on stilts.  A kilt or two.  SO MUCH LEIDERHAUSEN (Jacked the spelling, don't even care.). All the hipsters in Memphis.  It was THE BEST in terms of people watching.  We had too much fun.  The festival as a whole was slightly (putting it mildly!) unorganized.  It took us several minutes to get our e-tickets scanned then we weren't given our wrist bands or tokens to get our free shirts.  All in all, though, it was a really fun time.  And we did eventually get those free t-shirts and they were SO SOFT and might just be my favorite t-shirt yet . . .

All in all . . . a damn good time.

(Other weekend highlights: I got carded to see an R-rated movie, Alabama lost, A&M lost (I hate you, Kenny Hill), LSU lost, Katy Perry was on College Game Day and threw corn dogs into the crowd, I explained the corn dog relevance (wish I could find the original post; totally cannot) to at least two people. Both people with penises. I'm a chick who knows more about college football rivalries than they do. Priceless.)
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