Thursday, September 18, 2014

Thursday Things

1) It was 60 degrees last Saturday morning. When I walked outside, my neighbor was wearing a coat, hat, and gloves. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? It was SIXTY DEGREES. This is pretty much the only thing I hate about fall weather in the midsouth ... the way assholes react to it.

 About those reactions: it rained hard last Thursday and entire neighborhoods in Memphis flooded. Recent transplants (especially those from up north) always wonder why the city shuts down when it snows here. I'll tell you why ... because Memphis folks can't even drive in the rain. So many people tried to drive through flooded streets, there were accidents all over, and traffic was moving slowww all over.  There was no happy medium: it was either jackasses being too aggressive and driving into flood waters or people freaking out and driving 25 on the interstate.

2) And speaking of Memphis drivers ... I once took a flight and sat next to a preacher who told me he was pretty sure the Atlanta airport is what hell would be like. He's probably right. But, if not, I'm convinced it's the 40/240 split in Memphis. I wish there were words for how ragey the flyover makes me. No one gets in their correct lane until it's almost too late which constantly has traffic backed up. There's construction. And even though the speed limit is 45, you have to go at least 60 or you'll get run over. I always get behind the Geo Metro going 40 with a semi on my tail. Lovely. 

3) My girl's hair is getting long! She likes for me to blow dry it so I try to on mornings when we have enough time:

She's also gotten to where she loves bows (yay!) but she has to pick them out and they don't always match. 

4) I discovered this at walmart yesterday:

Poor Ana!

The Elsa dolls were (obviously) all gone ...

5) Both boys received progress reports last week and both did great. Tomorrow are teacher conferences but the way the school does them really sucks. They only allot three hours for conferences therefore teachers only meet with the parents of students who are struggling. That's understandable and all but, still, I'd like to meet with each teacher and really SEE how my kids are doing. 

6) J's 8th birthday is October 10th. That's also the day the Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day (probably my favorite children's book ever!) movie comes out.  And Brantley Gilbert comes to Southaven that night. A certain little punk kid wants to do neither of these things and has already informed me that I cannot because I have to spend the entirety of his birthday with him. 

7) How great of a weekend was it (again!) in football? My Hogs won. Baylor won. USC lost. Seahawks lost (I actually have nothing against Seattle but Pete Carroll is their coach and ... yuck.)

8) I've pretty much decided I'm going to get the iPhone 6.  I've had my phone (a 4S) for nearly three years.  I'm completely out of storage on the phone and, you know, it's just time to upgrade.  I'm not going to lie: I will MISS my 4S when I finally do let it go.  It's been one awesome little phone.  I'm sure the bells and whistles (and extra storage since I'm DEFINITELY going for the bigger phone this time around!!) of the 6 will make up for it.  Oh, and totally not getting the phablet one because really?  Really?  No.  Hashtag TACKY.

9) Last night as I was making dinner, Jaidan ran into the kitchen.
Me: "Um, uh, whaaaa?"
J: "I accidentally threw the basketball up to that thing in your bathroom* and now it's stuck and Kyan won't hold the ladder so I can GET IT!"
*that thing in your bathroom = the ledge that's, you know, RIGHT UNDER THE CEILING in my bathroom
Seriously.  This little turd was trying to use the ladder from THEIR BUNK BEDS to climb up it and reach the basketball that had been thrown on that ledge.  REALLY?!?

10) For those who've been there ... and those who stay there:

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Back on Track: Week Four

I lost 2.4 pounds last week. The pound I gained over the holiday weekend as well as another 1.4. My total lost to this point is 7.4. I've been at this four weeks so that's right on track and a decent amount lost. However. For some insane reason, I was initially upset. Like "ONLY seven pounds???" Even though I know it's healthy weight loss. Even though I know I'm not that big and can't expect to drop as much as I would if I were larger. But, yeah, I was a little irritated.

Then this happened:

The pic is a little blurry because J took it and the pose is a little too college girl. But. Those are my jeans! AND THEY FIT! I tried to put them on a few weeks ago and it was laying down on the bed to zip them followed by holy muffin top, Batman. So, apparently, seven pounds is the difference in my jeans fitting or not. 

I made it to the gym four times last week, walked the days I didn't. Saturday evening, I picked the kids up from their sitter and totally missed her bottom porch step. (This was a clumsy moment -- not an alcohol induced thing.) I fell and I guess twisted (or maybe sprained?) my ankle. It hurt - really, REALLY hurt - on Sunday. I used that as my rest day and decided not to do the gym last night though I did walk (and walked nearly four miles!)  My ankle feels much better and I'll be fine to go back to the gym tonight.

A few things I've been eating:

These stuffed peppers are SO GOOD. Freaking amazing. 

I used two tablespoons of cooked quinoa, two tablespoons of black beans, a pinch of taco seasoning, little bit of salsa, and a tiny bit of cheese. I spread Laughing Cow pepperjack on my pepper then stuffed it and added a little more cheese. Baked at 400 for 25 minutes. The entire meal -- with sides of cukes and roasted squash and zukes -- was less than 275 calories! Whaaaa?

This Skinnytaste queso was SO GOOD! I halved the recipe since it was just the boys and I eating it (Karis doesn't care for queso.) J and I LOVED it. The only subs I made were almond milk rather than skim and I omitted the cilantro (just because I didn't have any!)

I also made the Skinnytaste chocolate chip cookies and just wasn't impressed. My first batch didn't have enough flour. I added more for the second and they just ... I don't know ... they tasted like diet food. 

I didn't do so great with my eating over the weekend.  I'll be surprised if I lose much come Friday and, honestly, I'll be happy with the scale if I just maintain.  (Happy with the scale . . . not so happy with myself though . . . damn weekends!)

Friday, September 12, 2014

Thanks, Obama! And Kermit. And Michael Jackson.

I don't have insomnia. I have no problem falling asleep, sometimes at an embarrassingly early hour. I do have jacked up sleeping habits, though, which usually have me up sometime around 3 or 4 in the morning. Occasionally I'll fall back asleep but sometimes I can't and am just a dragon for the remainder of the day. Totally fun.

When I absolutely can't fall back to sleep and I'm bored out of my mind and I can't even think about pinning one more banana nut bread recipe or fall craft activity or tummy blaster exercise, my go-to "activity" is reading comments on the local news station's Facebook page. Since Facebook has allowed photo comments this has gone from "all white people in Memphis are racist! All black people in Memphis are thugs!" to some downright comedic gold. 

I'm talking about the memes that you see in comments. 

I'm basic bitch to the extreme so these pretty much make my entire life. I've been known to lay in bed, snort laughter, and try not to wake up a certain four-year-old who has moved into my room (AND my bed.)
And, yeah, I had another 4 am wake up and can't go back to sleep so I've put together a compilation of a few of my favorites.  These should suffice for any internet smackdown you happen to stumble upon. Enjoy!

(Can't credit as these all came from Facebook and were saved directly to my phone to pull out whenever needed. And, let's face it, they're gonna be needed!)


And, of course, you can't have a thread without some Obama/ Michael Jackson action:


For when you really love a post (#wps!):

And, finally, my personal can't-stop-laughing favorite. Use it, my friends, use it well:

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Thursday Things

1) I can't believe it's been thirteen years. Thirteen years since I walked into my room, turned on the TV, and was pissed to see Dan Rather's face ... then confused ... then shocked/ heartbroken/ sick. Thirteen years. 

2) So much going on in a Memphis the past few week. None of it good. 

Saturday night, a group of teenagers attacked an innocent man in a Kroger parking lot then assaulted the two Kroger employees that came to his aid. Sunday night, a 14-year-old boy was shot and killed by a stray bullet ... while he was asleep in his bed. Monday, a woman was shot and killed in a Target parking lot. 

Also, in news that can't be described as good but does bring closure to her family -- the remains of Holly Bobo were identified earlier in the week. 

The Memphis news is pretty much always depressing, but damn.  Who wants to let me move in with them?

3) We had our first hair cutting incident with a certain four-year-old. Luckily it was only Barbie hair beeeecause:

4) Last weekend was possibly the best weekend ever in football. Arkansas and Baylor both dominates. Tom Brady lost. Peyton kicked ass. The Cowboys choked in the first half which led to my favorite thing ever ... Tony Romo memes!

My dad was a Cowboys fan and I'll probably always a soft spot for them. But Tony Romo memes will never get old. 

5) I've been watching 19 Kids and Counting again. Why? You tell me. Maybe I'm fascinated that people who come from the same part of the country - same state even! - as I do could have such different and radical beliefs. I'm sure they're super nice people and blah blah blah. But it really bothers me that their 20-something daughters don't go on dates without "chaperones." Also -- since they don't hold hands until after they're engaged, it's like ... hand sex or something. I never realized hand holding could be so icky. AND ONE MORE THING. This kid that Jessa is marrying is young and lives with them while he does work for his dad. What the actual f-word? How is he going to support the two of them and the eventual 10 or 12 little blessings they'll bring into the world?

6) I recently finished the newest Elin Hilderbrandt book, The Matchmaker, and I was so disappointed! I love her books, devour them, and this one just seemed ... it seemed like a lackluster effort on her part. 

7) This jumped in my grocery cart the other day:

Jif failed mightily at jumping on the fake Nutella train but adding salted caramel to it?  

8) Kyan: "Will I have a stepmom some day?"
Me: "I don't know. You might."
Kyan: "If I do, I hope she'll let me play xbox on school nights. And play games with just a little bit of blood in them. Because those are the only ways you're not a really good mom, okay?"

9) Yesterday morning I managed to get everything done I needed to get done, start a load of laundry, and throw dinner in the crockpot. Everyone was out the door on time and even wearing shoes (yes, I've totally thought I had all my sheeeeit together only to step outside and realize I wasn't wearing shoes.) Then I got home and realized I'd never plugged the crockpot in. Awesome. 

10) Pretty much. 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Back on Track: Week Three

I gained a pound last week.

I kinda sorta expected it but it still pissed me off.  Pissed me off at myself (I mean, I didn't have to use the holiday weekend as an excuse to eat all the things and drink all the beer.)  Pissed me off at my metabolism and being in my 30's (because, yeah, even though I did eat like an asshole, I also worked out.  HARD.  For something like ten days straight!) 

I have to say, though, that I did MUCH better on my eating this past weekend.  I went out and had a few beers Friday night and then a beer or two with my Razorbacks (73-7!!!) on Saturday.  But, for the most part, I did pretty great with my eating.  I had a flat bread pizza instead of a deep dish from Jet's.  Instead of chips and queso, it was Beanitos and salsa.  Zucchini fries rather than loaded Texas cheese fries.  Did I want wings and queso and all the fried shit?  Um, duh, of course I did.  But I also want my jeans to fit.  Don't have the money to be buying new clothes right now!

I'm hoping that when Friday rolls around, I can hope on the scale and see that I've lost that pound that came back last week and maybe even another pound.  My eating has been point.  But . . . the work outs . . .

Let's talk about that for a minute.

So many fitness-centered people are "NO EXCUSES!" and I get that.  I believe it, as well, to a certain extent.  Or maybe I should say I used to believe it.  I can remember telling people that I treated exercise like showering -- "it's just something you have to do every day."  Let's not kid ourselves, though, sometimes that's easier said than done.  Especially when you have children and don't have a ton of help with them.

The gym daycare is only open certain hours and I can't always make it there during those hours.  And, yes, I can get in some exercise with my kids.  It's something I try to do.  In fact, the gym just wasn't happening yesterday so we did a walk through the neighborhood and then the kids played at the playground while I walked the perimeter.  But I also know that sometimes even that can't happen.

I guess my point is this: it's easy to adopt the "NO EXCUSES!" mantra when life is a little bit easier.  But when you're trying to juggle eighty million things and you have a sick child and you haven't had more than five hours of sleep a night for over a week and the laundry is piling up . . . and . . . and . . . sometimes you just have to do the best you can.  That's all you really can do.

But, seriously, haven't been to the gym since Friday.  Saturday was totally my fault -- I hadn't had a rest day in over a week and decided to take Saturday so I could be lazy and spend the day with football.  My gym doesn't have childcare on Sundays so the kids and I took a nice, long walk instead.  Yesterday there was just too much going on in the evening so another walk had to suffice.  I have to buy groceries this evening so probably won't be making it to the gym though I'm hoping we can squeeze in another neighborhood walk.  Like I said . . . sometimes you just have to do the best you can, get in the activity where you can.

And hope the scale is nice to you . . .

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Thursday Things

1) I am tired.

Amongst my big plans for my kid-free weekend was sleeping in.

That didn't happen. Not one single morning. There was no one around to jump on me or demand breakfast or to ask, "do you wanna build a snowman?" But I am getting old and, apparently, old people get up at the ass-crack of dawn even if they don't have to. Ugh. 

So now it's Thursday and I'm tired and I'm pretty sure I need a beach vacation. 

2) Speaking of beach vacations ... my boys have a week-long fall break and I'm a little salty about said break this year since there won't be a beach vacation. Like . . .  way to SCS! Throw in that fall break and throw every parent in your district off track!  Slow claps for you!  Assholes.

3) I'm obviously just a little ray of sunshine today.

4) My children are already starting to think about their Christmas lists. Both boys want bikes. Karis has requested Ariel, Ana, and Elsa dolls. The Disney Store actually had an Elsa doll the other day but K was with me so I couldn't buy it. By the time I was able to go back without her, they were sold out. I have a feeling Elsa and Ana are going to the cabbage patch circa 1984 this holiday season. 

5) They are also, of course, thinking about what they want to be for Halloween.  As of right now, the boys change their minds every 2.5 seconds but Karis is holding steadily on wanting to be Ariel.  But only if she can have pink hair.  We'll see.

6) We heard the song "American Kids" the other day and Karis yelled, "Hey, it's Captain America's song!" Ha!

7)  So I kinda bitched the other day about early September being the beginning of ALL THINGS PUMPKIN but then I caved yesterday and made myself some pumpkin pancakes for breakfast.

And now that I broke the seal this tiny part of me is kindasorta wishing it would cool down just enough for a pumpkin spice latte to make sense.

Yeah, I'm judgin' myself.

8) Jaidan: "You need to start cooking us more black people food!"
(Don't get me started, okay?)
Kyan: "Yeah! Like fried chicken! And ... turkey burgers!"
Turkey burgers? TURKEY BURGERS?
By the way -- I did make turkey burgers last night and the meal was so pretty I had to Instagram it!

9) So this pretty much wins the internet.  I love Andy Dwyer.
10) Seriously, though. 


Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Back on Track: Week Two

Last week was awesome. I kicked ass at eating, worked out six days (gym workouts! Intensive high calorie burning stuff), and by Friday I was down another 2.2 pounds. My total lost at this point is six pounds.



But the weekend happened. I knew it would be a tough one and I was right. I was on track until Saturday. I decided to make this queso to eat while watching football. It was disgusting, though, and I decided ... 

Mmm hmm. Goodbye skinny queso, hello pizza and beer! 

The rest of the weekend was the same. There was a fast food burger and coconut shrimp and this even happened:

I won't be surprised if I gain when I weigh in on Friday. My own fault. Not going to dwell on it. 

Here are a few things (other than deep dish pizza!) I've been eating:

Because we all need a quick snack every once in a while, right? These almonds are so good - my favorite! And while I normally don't like anything Fiber One puts out, these bars are yummy. 

This grilled veggie tower is a Skinnytaste recipe that I changed up a bit -- omitted eggplant and used provolone instead of mozzarella cheese. Really good!

Another Skinnytaste recipe and this one was such a HIT! I'll definitely be making it again. 

I was really craving some Mexican food so I decided to make quesadillas one day. I used chicken, onions and peppers, and a wedge of laughing cow cheese. I used a flat out wrap instead of a tortilla because I wanted a bigger quesadilla! The chips are Beanitos and, while they take some getting used to, they also have 4 grams of protein. 

Pizza! This was delicious. Seriously. It's just a flat out wrap, pizza sauce, mozzarella, onions, green pepper, and banana pepper. 225 calories of yummy. 

I'm expecting a gain when I weigh in on Friday but I'm okay with that. Holiday weekends happen, ya know? Being refocused and back on track (at being back on track!) is what really matters. 
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