Post Election Thoughts

If you know me at all, then you know I'm most certainly NOT a Hillary Clinton supporter.  This election made me sad and angry and, when I went to the polls, I voted for a third party candidate (which I could do with clear conscience since I live in a very red state.)  However, I woke up around 4:00 last Wednesday morning, saw the results, and instantly broke into tears.  I was devastated.  A few hours later, I went to wake up the kids.  My child who was the most into the election immediately asked me, just as he does when he has to go to bed during a football game, "Who won?"  When I told him, he cried.

People are not shedding tears over this election because they're sore losers or crybabies or members of the participation trophy generation who can't get over defeat.  People are genuinely scared of what this means for our nation, for our friends who are slightly different from us.  People are upset and angry that half the nation either ignored or embraced the crass, disgusting filth that came out of the mouth of the man they elected. 

One thing that bothers me the most is declarations that the Trump presidency is a win for Christianity.  *Record screech*  Wait, what, hold up.  The Trump presidency might be a win for the pro-life movement (though I can guaran-damn-tee you that Ruth Bader Ginsburg is going to will herself to live until she's 110) but it was hardly a win for Christianity.

I mean, we're talking about a man who bragged about having affairs, who has been married three times, jokes around about sexual assault, brags about hitting on married women, lusts after both flesh and money.  All Christians fall and fail but to say that a man with his past (and, let's be real his present) is a win for Christianity is a slap in the face to Christians.  And let's not forget, I don't believe the man has ever once claimed to be a Christian.  He's just not a half-black dude with a Muslim sounding name . . .

I want to talk about the pro-life thing for a minute.  Let me begin by saying that I do not agree with abortion being used as a means of birth control.  However, there are so many gray areas and it terrifies me to think of what could happen if Roe v. Wade is overturned.  For that to happen, we HAVE to teach more comprehensive sex education and the religious right have to learn that "just don't do it" is NOT WORKING.  We are sexual beings.  We were made that way.  And people are going to have sex regardless of whether or not they're married.  Further, we have to provide more affordable birth control options and education about said options.  We have to do a complete overhaul of the foster and adoption systems.  And we have to be prepared with social programs to help feed, clothe, and educate.  In a perfect world, every child would be wanted and born into a loving family.  But we live in a very flawed and very imperfect world.

The thing that scares me the most, though, about Roe being overturned is all those many, many gray areas.  One of the most pro-life and Christian women I know lost a (very, very wanted and prayed for) pregnancy and the baby was lodged in one of her fallopian tubes.  In the beginning, she did not know if the baby was actually still alive in her tube and was faced with the very real fear of what to do if it was. My point is: not every abortion occurs because Sally the Slut "couldn't keep her legs closed" and got knocked up.  Women get pregnant from rape.  Women have to terminate because their own lives are at stake and they need to be around for the children they already have.  THAT is what terrifies me about overturning Roe and putting medically NEEDED abortions in the hands of a hospital board. 

Beyond that, it's just all . . . sad.  It's sad that so many people in our country are to this point.  Most people I know personally who voted for Trump are not overtly racist or misogynistic.  They voted for him because they're either pro-life or they're tired of the Clintons.  Which, okay, fine, I get that.  I expect conservative people to vote for the candidate who says they're conservative.  But I feel like so many of these people cast that vote because they're in their bubble of white Christian privilege.  I mean, Trump wasn't saying he wanted to ban all Christians from coming into our country.  I mean, they're white so they don't have to worry about his supporting of the "stop and frisk" policy.  I mean, they're straight so they don't have to worry their marriage might be in jeopardy (don't EVEN get me started on LGBT who voted for this vile man.)  I mean, they didn't get drug here illegally by their parents at the age of four and may now get sent back to a land they don't remember or know and torn away from their families.  I mean, they don't have a disability or a child with a disability so was it really that big of a deal that Trump mocked the disabled reporter?  I mean, it's just locker room talk.  Jesus talked about loving your neighbor.  Growing up in church, I was taught JOY (Jesus, Others, Yourself.)  Yet, it seems the "yourself" came first in this election and there wasn't a lot of empathy - let alone love - for our neighbors.

Finally, I'm just really damn angry about this whole thing.  The Democrats gave us one of the most polarizing, controversial, disliked candidates.  The Republicans - the Republicans had John Kasich! - ignored all their other choices and gave us Trump.  The man who is repaying favors and bringing trash like Bannon to the White House.  The man who is "draining the swamp" by filling his cabinet with 99% politicians and former politicians.  That's hardly draining, Mr. Trump, that's replacing the gators with crocodiles.  The man who has bullied and provoked repeatedly.  And we now have him running our country.  God help us all.

I Love America Day

I spent a majority of yesterday just grieving.  Grieving the fact that we have elected Donald Trump as our next president and also grieving the fact that so many of my fellow Americans would willingly vote for someone so blatantly racist, homophobic, and misogynistic.  The Bible tells us to "love one another" and yet conservative Christians willingly voted for - and BOASTED of said voting for - a candidate who has built his platform upon hating our fellow man.  I grieve for my all those who are now feeling real, legitimate fear: the LGBT community, Muslims, Latinx, women of any color, those who cannot afford healthcare without ACA.  I grieve for all of them and I fear for all of them.

Today is my kids' school's "I Love America" day.  It's a big deal and it's been hyped up since the beginning of the school year.  The irony of such a day wasn't lost on me in the midst of my grieving.  If I'm being completely honest, I wasn't feeling a whole lot of love for my country yesterday.  It was a mix of other emotions.

Fear.
Disgust.
Embarrassment.
A little angry.

But I had to remind myself of something.

Over the past couple months in our home, we've completely outlawed the phrases "you hate me" or "you don't love me."  If a child says either one while they're getting in trouble then the punishment will be larger.  Why?  Because you can be angry with someone and still love them.

That's how I choose to feel about my country today.

I'm angry at the Democratic party for giving us a candidate so thoroughly crooked and unlikeable.  I'm angry at the Republican party for volleying back with the most disgusting, vile, and inexperienced candidate in history.  I'm angry at my fellow Americans who supported Trump.  I'm angry at conservative Christians who overlooked extremely un-Christlike behavior and voted for Donald Trump because he told them he was pro-life.  I'm angry that I can't tell my girls that yes, being more qualified totally means you'll get the job over a man.  Yeah, mama ain't happy today.

But I still dressed my kids up in their red, white, and blue.  My J will proudly be marching in the parade with members of his class.  If we go to the University of Memphis football game this weekend, I'll stand and put my hand over my heart for the national anthem.  When the Fourth of July rolls around, I'll eat all the barbecue and drink all the beer and get all the tears in my eyes while watching fireworks. 

I'm so, so fearful of the next four years.  I'm embarrassed at what my fellow Americans have done.  I'm mad as hell at my country.  But I still love it.